Protestations of innocence in the heart of darkness.

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In this abyss there is no light

When it begins to appear above the horizon

I hold it back with the night

Of troubled thoughts

That weave a tangled labyrinthine inner mindscape

Containing corridors

Leading to infinite rooms of

Tormented memories

Here they smoulder

Still breathing fire

All of those harsh experience which befell me in a world

Where I had so little power

Over those who came and went

Leaving, absence and emptiness

The only shadows I now project

Transposing them like a veneer on present space

Rendering opaque

All new opportunity

While obscuring knowledge of what is real

Could it be

I am nothing but

The architect of this misfortune

This is an understanding I fought against

With all my might

But now as I witness

The dominos falling

History is repeating

Summoning up despair

While deep in my soul I feel that ache

For the loss of love that came

Bearing light

How I hoped your x ray vision

The mildest super power

Would see all the buried longing and hope

Hidden deep within the centre

Of this heart of darkness

 Where has my warrior gone

The fearless one

Whose courageous deep seeing heart

Will hold steady to

An unwavering light

In the midst of anger and fear

Not allowing you to be

Led astray by demons

Summoned up to ransom love

While feigning innocence

Will you have the sense to surrender what it is you need

Just to stop a while

And hold mu hand within this darkness

As ghostly shadows encircle

The haunted perimeter of my consciousness

Which trapped my spirit

Within this prison

Over so many years

And when at last

With the approach of a fearless love

You see me summon up these walls

Along with all the doubts and reasons why and how

All I ever longed for but was denied

Can never come to pass

Please my love

Lay down your sword

As I grip my shield

Do not use it to cut at those

Tender shoots of  new life

Which long to grow and find the light

Please turn a deaf ear

To all the silly things I say

And listen ever more deeply

With your heart

To all those buried emotions

Which underlie the knife

Keeping time

With the fractured beating of a restless heart

That wants so much

To start again

And build new life

But despairs so deeply

Of ever once again

Finding love and tenderness

Please I beg you do not turn and walk away

From a soul

Drowning in an abyss

Of terrrified apprehension

And baffling protestations

Of innocence

 

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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