Connecting with your true feelings

One of the symptoms of emotional neglect or invalidation of our real feelings is that we become co-dependent, disconnected from our own insides and gut feelings, being led to believe there is something wrong for having these feelings,  being shamed for having certain feelings, stuffing your true feelings to gain acceptance from the parent or person who couldn’t cope with them or tried to convince you they were wrong.

I just came across the following book on Amazon yesterday and was lucky enough to borrow it from the library

Not Crazy

In it the author Jeanette Elisabeth Menter outlines her own history of growing up with emotional abuse and neglect and gives steps to help you get in touch with factors which led to developing a distorted relationship to your own true feelings and needs.

The following paragraph really spoke to me so I am sharing it here:

Undoing your earlier programming and allowing your true feelings to be heard may take some time.  You won’t trust them at first because you will feel vulnerable.  By being willing to feel, you open yourself to some things that will hurt.  You will survive it.  Instead of using false emotions to build walls for protection, you’ll begin to let authentic feelings come through.  Be patient with yourself as you may over react from time to time. Feelings are powerful.  “Getting in touch with your feelings” isn’t just a cliché; it’s a priority if you are ever going to have a sense of (being) truly alive.

I would add that it is faking it with our emotions in order to gain approval as a result of our true feelings being shamed, dismissed or misunderstood which leads to a feeling of depression and lowered vitality over time.  We may not be conscious of this before we begin our emotional recovery from trauma and co-dependence but we can trust our feelings to lead us in the right direction over time.



Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Accepting Emotions, Emotional Recovery, Self Awareness, True Self1 Comment

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