I think for so many years, I ran
because deep inside it felt as though
there was nowhere to be held
no where to feel safe
a safe harbour
from the tumultuous churning seas
around me
so often I see there has been
only this restless running
today when I sat with you
while they gave you the diagnosis
with deep compassion in their eyes
nodula carcinoma
I realise there is nowhere to run to
and neither do I want to
I only want to be here
close by your side
I want to love you and give you all that I have
in my heart
no more defences
we need a place to rest
I know how tired you are
so how will you cope
with this cutting
you have already been told to swallow poison
hoping it will cure
an invisible malaise
they don’t truly understand
is this your body’s silent rebellion?
I sense my powerlessness
and your fear for a time
becomes my fear
this is not happening to me
so why do I feel it so deeply?
It was hard to leave you this afternoon
it felt as if there was only peace and safety
in this togetherness
and out there a raging sea
that might swallow me whole
tears fall as I leave
and I drive the short distance home
where my puppy’s soft downy fur
is my first greeting
the soothing he gives
worth more than any other gift
there is here
the falling leaves
the gentle breeze
afternoon’s soft light
and peace
beyond all the thoughts and fears
and I realise I have found
my safe harbour
built over these long and painful years
of feeing my true feelings
and now
there can be an end of running
The first part of the poem helped me understand a bit more about my running tendencies. “This restless running” describes it well.
I’m sorry about your loved one’s diagnosis.
LikeLike
Thank you…I love the image of your tiger, Sleeping Tiger.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Potent imagery.
I have recently learned that my sister is terminally ill. I understand what you’re saying.
LikeLike
I am sorry to hear that, Lynette…having lost one sister I understand how that is, too. My other sister now has breast cancer but in this case I am praying and the chances are good …but still a terrible shock. Thinking of you. ♡♡
LikeLike