A day of peace and magic

One thing about going through traumatic and invasive medical procedures and experiences is that they make you appreciate the simple joy and beauty of those days when you can live in a beautiful rhythm touching base with nature, pottering around, chatting to friends at the dog park, reading, listening to music, appreciating the warmth of the sun and the autumn colours and knowing that all feels fine with the world.

You can also slow down to smell the roses, don’t need to get so impatient with those Sunday drivers who are dawdling on the road and don’t even get phased when you try to find a park in the car park near your favourite café which is completely full with cars everywhere.  In a quiet moment you send out a prayer to the car parking angel and then just at the eleventh hour watch someone walk towards the  car parked just in front of you to the right, turn on their lights, start their motor and smile a big smile knowing you are the next in line for that car park.

When this happened to me today, and it may feel like a small thing, but I actually cried tears of joy.  I had a feeling that the Universe, at least for this day was on my side and I had also a feeling that despite all I have gone through in the past months and years somewhere there is a benevolent force that wishes well for me.  I also had a sense that if I can only hold to a positive frame of mind and be patient and trusting things will turn around for me.

Yesterday I was reading about the astrological climate for the month ahead.  Soon the planet Mars will slow down to turn retrograde (something that only happens once every two years).  During this kind of transit frustrations can tend to build, most especially if we have  been thwarted a lot through life.  If we try to push forward at these times unconscious of deeper pains and frustrations being triggered a lot of steam can build and we may make things even more difficult for ourselves.

Today as I seemed to encounter lots of blocks and go slows on the way to the café I reminded myself of something I read yesterday : to concentrate on the present moment, not on the destination, to listen the music in my car, to turn my focus within, breathe a big breath and re-lax (go lax again!!).  It really worked and the prize at the end for slowing down was that a car park materialised just as I needed it.

In just over a months time Mercury too will station retrograde and this will mean that 5 planets are moving retrograde.  Our focus will need to shift to the internal.  To finding a state of mind and place in which we can experience comfort and safety.  To addressing those issues that may be festering or tripping us up.

It seemed today that there was an intimation of lessons to be learned and of a attitude or state of mind that would help when meeting frustrations and delays.

I have about a month to wait until my radiology treatment will begin.  It will probably start just as Mercury moves backwards.  So for the moment I am enjoying the peaceful time of magic days when I can just be with my dog, in my home, connecting with others I care about and who care for me, reading, resting, pottering, blogging and counting the many blessings around me that I am able to enjoy just being alive.

 

Frustrations, delays: Mars retrograde

Mars attacks and comes to a night sky near you this month, and the folks at the Virtual Telescope Project and Slooh are bringing it to you live and in color. Unlike most planets, “Mars viewing season” comes around only once about every two years. And while Mars is shining bright in the sky right now, the “official” event of Mars being closest to Earth happens next week on April 8th, when the Red Planet reaches opposition and shines at magnitude -1.5 in the constellation Virgo.

http://www.universetoday.com

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Is anyone else out there feeling the full force of their Mars issues currently coming to a head?

While Mars transits in retrograde motion, an event that only occurs once every two years, we get a chance to come to awareness about the way our Mars energy functions in our lives, that is awareness around how we express and assert ourselves, how well we understand and act on our needs, how we deal with conflict and challenges and how we act in the face of not getting what we want (the last bit possibly highlighted in even greater depth at the moment as transiting Mars backtracks into a square with transiting Pluto, the planet of transformation and letting go, )

Awareness around Mars issues may occur as blockages, frustrations or delays, while Mars is retrograde, forcing us to introspection and the sense of frustration and delay may be even stronger for people like me who have challenging Mars aspect to deal with (Mars conjunct Saturn).  I certainly experienced a lot of frustrations and blocks on my energy over the past two days as the Sun came to oppose Mars since Mars retrograde amps up the awareness of how our own Mars functions or is blocked.

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The critical time when Mars retrograde issues come most strongly into focus is around the time that the Sun opposes Mars, part way through the retrograde cycle.  That opposition occurred a few days ago on 8th of April and I have just noticed that at this time Mars draws closer to the earth and is more visible metaphorically expressing our own increased awareness around Mars issues.

We are currently in the waxing quarter moon phase of the astrological cycle leading towards the full moon which will mark the first full moon or lunar eclipse in an eclipse cycle in the signs Aries (ruled by Mars) and Libra (ruled by its polar opposite Venus).  Eclipses occur when New and Full Moons occur around the South and North Nodes respectively.  They occur twice within a year, approximately six months apart and tend to be times of dramatic endings and new beginnings, times also when critical issues surrounding the signs come to the fore and demand some kind of change or growth in awareness.

The fact that Mars and Venus rule Aries and Libra respectively, that the Nodes are passing through these signs and that Mars is currently retrograde and heading towards opposition with the Sun shows that issues surrounding our own personal identity and use of power, agency and action as well as our need for independence and self sufficiency and self agency will be challenged and balanced by competing Venus/Libra needs: respect for and an awareness of others and their needs, the important part that relationships play in our lives, how and why and which what kind of dynamics are we engaging with others for co-operative purpose and how can we balance these two, at times challenging concerns.  Issues around projection of emotions in relationship will also come to the fore.

When placed in the sign of Libra as Mars is now, Mars the planet of action and dynamism is said to be in its fall, that is its assertive energy is dampened down somewhat by the needs of relationship. This might be a time when it is not as easy to be selfish or to go for exactly what we want as there may be circumstances in which a crucial relationship is demanding our time and energy, or at least some form of compromise.  Not only that but I have noticed during the past few days, accidents and delays occurring to others with whom I am in relationship, impacting upon and affecting my own ability to take action and move forward.

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Yesterday a plumber was due to arrive to repair the second of two major water leaks and was delayed by two accidents, when he arrived the necessary tools were not available as they were in the van of his partner who was on holiday.   After he left, unable to correct the problem I went to the car to take Jasper to the park and my battery was flat.  I must be honest here and say my own Mars in Saturn has never dealt very well with delays and frustrations.  I tend to assume the worst at times and can amp up the charge around minor events working myself into a kind of frenzy (Pluto inconjuncts these two in my chart), this probably comes from times in the past, especially when young, when my need to take action was thwarted, crucial Saturn Mars issues and with the Moon also thrown into the mix emotional volatility can be the result.

It was a curious Mars retrograde phenomena that I noted yesterday, the challenges and delays only started to upset me for a time, after a few moments I was able to use positive self talk to calm my worries and anxieties down and divert my attention into other happier tasks.   I noticed all the negative self taik.. a flat battery was now a reason I needed to sell my car.. completely unnecessary but something my mother would often say.  Using the advantage of Mars retrograde (inward turned attention to critical issues surrounding action and movement) I see could see the negative self talk for what it was, not calm and peaceful wisdom centred in truth but a dose of negativity bred out of frustration and fear.

Following the flat battery incident I was told by the mechanic to drive the car for 40 minutes and as a result had a beautiful drive out towards the nature reserve on the outskirts of where I live in Canberra and explored some amazing county that I hadn’t seen in over 20 years.  If I had not had the flat battery, Jasper and I would not have had that lovely drive.  We got to the park late and had a very long conversation with a good friend and the rest of my day, though delayed went calmly and well,

Yet again this morning the plumber has been delayed by another accident and Jasper and I have been hamstrung at home unable to leave the house for our normal exercise..this blog is happening due to the fact we are both stuck unable to leave.  The plumber has just shown me a corroded piece of pipe with a hole not much bigger than two needle heads in diameter which was the source of my third significant leak since buying this older property.  At the outset of owning no 8 Carmichael Street, there was not much I knew about plumbing.  but over the course of the past two years I am becoming much more aware of how to deal with problems and the right action that needs to be taken in order to set them right.

I am not sure of the astrological associations to plumbing but am sure there is a Scorpio/Pluto flavour to it.   It is one of my idiosynchraises that I look to these kind of events to see what they might be pointing to on a metaphorical level.   The pipes conduct the water that flows below the property, in the course of all of this problem with the plumbing I’ve become well versed at turning if off a the mains.  I wonder could the flow of water represent to me the flow of my emotions, that at times, though Its not easy for me, it does become necessary to hold back the flow and divert my energy into something less frustrating and challenging, rather than get caught up in a negative downward spiral that doesn’t led anywhere good..

As I was sweeping the leaves in the back garden this morning I was thinking about my own birth, how even then when I was urging to push forward into life,  my Mother held back from going to the hospital until she had bottled the very last of her plum jam. February is the month for plums and I now have my own plum tree in the back yard… funny how life brings you full circle.   I am aware of my own difficulty at times with moving forward in life, embracing major change and acting spontaneously when the need arises without holding myself back with loads of self doubt.  Who knows?  It could be a good quality not to rush into things, but not such a good quality for those I have been in relationship with to have held back from opening my heart wholely and expressing my true feelings.  Come to think of it there is a held back quality in my entire family.   Not an easy legacy this Mars Saturn Moon of mine.

The plumber has now fixed the fourth problem, the float valve in the second toilet, in the midst of blogging we were having a conversation about old properties and maintenance.  I guess having never owned a beautiful old home before I was not aware of the amount of maintenance involved.  Maybe there will come a time when most of the problems are sorted and then they wont become the reason that I need to move on.  Who know?  (again)… Coming to awareness around what is not working or moving forward (Mars Retrograde) maybe the point of this current transit in the first place.  The critical point is how do we make sense of the difficulties and challenges when we find in the midst of them occurring.  Do we use them as a reason to punish and whip ourselves or do we see them as learnings which help us to put thing right, opportunities to grown in patience, resilience, trust, hope and belief in the inherent goodness of life despite adversity, challenge, delay and frustration?  For myself I just know I am feeling very much calmer taking this more positive approach.

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Some days have now passed and the plumbing problems have again receded into the background and I have noted too that this arising and passing away theme is very strong for me at present.  Was there a sense at times with my own Mars Saturn Moon that I got very stuck and bogged down in certain painful emotions,  Lately I’ve been working with mindfulness to become aware of and feel them through, using the out breath to deepen into letting go, for the deeper the letting go on the outbreath, the more air I am able to take in on the inbreath.  I was not entirely conscious of how often I was actually holding my breath, and clamping down.   It seems maybe part of the current Mars signature with the Uranian and Plutonian emphasis around it all that letting go, opening up and coming to awareness are major themes at present.

And I’d be interested to hear.  How are you experiencing the current Mars retrograde and the Sun Mars opposition in your own life.

For me this current Mars retrograde has made me more willing to open and show patience and self compassion when I am in the midst of frustrations, offering myself the love, support and understanding while weathering the storms, accepting that the universal timing may often be on different schedule to my own and realising that in the midst of difficult times, where I place my attention has a huge influence on how I am feeling. While I don’t have to run from the sad or heavy stuff, I don’t have allow it to take up all the air time and the more I accept it and can be with it, the easier it is to pass through.