Deep down in here it is dark
But somewhere the light is shining
Shadows are being thrown over things
By a past that was full
Of so many painful experiences
Hurts, betrayals, losses and endings
Trauma, smashing ups, crushing pain
The consequences of difficult decisions
And the deep tearing of much life taken
I carry the memory of all this
And the cellular imprints
Deep within
And wake each morning
Struggling to breathe
Holding fast on the knife edge of pain
Paying attention to
And loosening the contraction
Of this prolonged dark night
And re-birth
And yet there is light
In the sweet kindness that is shown
In the sunny greeting of my little dog
Doing his joyous “where’s breakfast?” dance
In the sparkle of sun on water
In the compassion and empathy you show
In the recognition that pain is pain
Deep, dark and difficult at times
But with its own gifts too
Now is growing the understanding
That this pain can be held
In the sweet embrace of love
When you look on me tenderly
And with compassion
And when I do the same for me
And for others too
Then a powerful light grows
Deep within the darkness
And I realise the pain of holding on
Is recognised in the light of understanding
And released in the light of that recognition
I open my clenched fists
And take deep breaths
And surrender to the love
That wants to enter
That love does not erase the memory of pain
But holds it tenderly
And is the soothing balm
That will work its powerful alchemy
Helping the sting to fade
With time
Through this opening
I find the courage to move out
Into the light
Where love can be found
Deep within the hearts
Of those who have suffered
And let love win
And made their peace with nature
And life
In all its terrible beauty majesty and mystery
