Helping people feel safe in sadness.

The following excerpt from the Awakened Empath page on Facebook was posted by Leslie Bertrand. I have been shut down so often for crying and this speaks as to why. Some people are just too terrified to embrace their sadness and then its a double wound when they shut down yours.

When you tell someone to stop crying, you’re reacting to how uncomfortable YOU feel with THIER emotional expression.

If this resonates with you, perhaps explore why you are uncomfortable with tears. Do you cry? When and if you cry how do YOU feel? Do you feel relieved or ashamed?

Here are some things you can say to acknowledge their feelings and let them know you care and are trying to understand, not judge. ❤️

Its okay to be sad.

This is really hard for you.

I’m here with you.

Tell me about it.

I hear you.

That was really sad, scary, etc

I will help you work it out.

I’m listening.

I hear that you need space. I want to be here for you. I’ll stay close so that you can find me when you are ready.

It doesn’t feel fair.


The gift of you

I feel your spirit on a breath of wind

Calling my name

The truth of you lives

So deeply inside my heart

I cannot ever lose the way to it

You ask nothing of me

But that I be myself

And share my life with you

So what else can I do

But love you

With everything in my soul

You bring me such peace

And a fire now dwells

In the space

Once cold before

You are my spring and summer

The gift given to my soul

After the longest of winters

You are my earth and stars

My moon and sun

And I wish for nothing more

Than to gaze upon your face

Feeling the warm embrace of you

As I open myself fully

To the tenderness I sense

Wrapped deep inside

The gift of you

Of the wound

Over time these wounds we carry

Bled themselves dry

As we took the path

That led towards healing

There is a school of thought that says

Feeling

Will just get you

Into trouble

But those things that cut

Just leave pain

Until the healing

Steals some of the poison away

So listen to what

Your body says friend

For you cannot always live

Cut off in your head

And there is some pain

That must be faced

To deepen the soul in you

That sought its embodiment

Through the hurting

And the bleeding

Of the wound

Dreams long buried

I imagined you as the answer to a longing I buried

That you reminded me of

Made me believe in again

Then the path unfolded as it did

Rugs laid out strewn with pleasures

Only be to torn away

Time after time

Summoning up for me

All the pain of love both absent and denied

Keep trusting me

You begged

Even as the shadows grew deeper

And my heart sank ever lower

Revisiting pain I thought long done

So now if I

Close the door

It may take some time

To release all of this

More tears to cry

With the shedding

And this time I will turn a deaf ear

To the advice of others

Trusting only in

The process of my own soul

For if this has taught me anything

It has taught me this

What comes to us

Comes for a reason

Or a season

And only we can work it through

Following the path that fate unravels

When we dared to open the door on dreams

Longing and pain

We buried

Loss

You will go one day

Like everyone else

Summoned by a passing breeze

Or a wave

Carried onwards

To your soul’s next destiny

And I will learn now

How to live

In the aftermath

No longer weighted with lead

Releasing what I can

Following the breath

And then

Doing those things

That encourage forgetting

If only for a time

Seeking things that make my heart

Smile again

If past loss has taught me anything

It is to be kind

Not to hold on too tight

To what is leaving

Trusting that as one door closes

One day

If I let go

Another will open again

Wave

Life took you from me

On a wave

That crested and broke

With an almighty power

Churning up the dark ground

Of intercellular space

And so it is that my head burns

As my heart breaks

Which is a real feeling

For those who are reeling

Inside the wild ocean of loss

If the heart is the muscle that pumps the lymph

Exerting a tidal pull

In spasms and heaves and jerks

That expresses the devastation

Of a tearing upon the soul

As a body or a hope or a promise of love

Is taken from us

Then the heart is not just an organ

It seems to me

It is in its entirely

The deepest truest part

Of our soul

Revisiting the scapegoat

One of my most commented on and read posts involves understanding and healing the scapegoat with. I was moved to post this reply from the comments section on that post which addresses healing for those of us with high level empathy, sensitivity or emotionality. We may not always be accepted by the world at large, but we can find healing and acceptance deep within our own hearts.

I think that it is a journey to find belonging and ultimately we need know we belong to ourselves, regardless of others opinions, judgements, projections.. First we need to understand what happened to us, because due to process whereby we become scapegoated or exiled we can suffer from deep feelings of being too different, bad, difficult, wrong etc. If we internalise these beliefs we can suffer so much. But if we can come to see that it was the group, people or community who was in fact threatened in some way, we can come to understand that being on the outside may not have to be a curse, or the loneliest place and that we do have gifts to give. If we become identified with that role,we can remain a victim in our own mind and open to further victimisation. We have to come to know that our anger, sensitivity, dramatic self expression or whatever is okay and we can find channels outside the hurtful ones to express. At least that is my understanding and experience.

Goodbye

I said goodbye to you today

There was other way

I could find through it

And then I lay

And remembered

All the beautiful vows of love

And promises you made

And how

At a very dark time

You came into my life

And filled some of my deep deep emptiness

Our connection was strong

And even now

I do not think it will ever be

Entirely done

For you are part of my journey

And sadly I may not find out

For the longest time

Who told the truth

And who lied

I only know what the confusion did to my heart

How it threatened to tear me

Entirely apart

And yet I survived

And became strong

Through all the tears I cried

I believe I am softer now

For you showed me in many ways

The truths of love

But sadly your promises will never come to pass

And so my love here

Is where I must leave you

So I can open up

The next chapter of my life

And free my heart

From pain and utter confusion

Of our entangled mixed up past

the breaking

Lay me down here

Among the wreckage of broken dreams

Let me be the one who feels

The power of the breaking

Is this time for waking

Or is it that sleep stole from me

Recognition of the deep

Here amongst the wreckage

Of the broken pieces

Is where I find my blessing

For how can I come together anew

Without this time of falling apart

Maybe it was just

My soul hungering to contain

So much more than this

That caused the shattering

Maybe it was the deeper self in me

That longed to be

Far more than I was

That summoned up

The breaking