It hurts

Feeling blue

My heart goes out to you

Pain in my chest

Hard to rest

Knowing you feel lost again

There are no longer any ideas here

About what is right or wrong

Because the truth is I do not know

Any more

All I know is that

It hurts

Sometimes I feel we are cursed

By an age old wound

That festered

I try my best

To keep keeping everything

Under control

But deep down inside I know

There is no way to really say

The absolute truth of what it is

My heart feels for you

You struggle so very hard to stay alive

That now to feel you sinking

Hurts me so

And I am really all out of words

Because deep in my heart I know

This pain you carry

Has no resolution

Will never ever ever

Completely

Go away

More than ever before

We all need

The comfort of love

Someone’s shoulder to lean on

Just for a while

Even though in the end

As a child

So many of us

Only learned to hide or deny the truth

Turning away

Towards the silence

We all need

Periods of humor and silliness

Within the drama and the pain

We knew

Are integrating

Or working to move

On through

Despair may convince us of lies

Should we choose to live in illusions

For too long

There is a love

That we long for

A place of surrender we need to find

To transform the pain

And a healing baptism

Of flood and fire

We must walk through

To get to the other side

With more of our soul

Awake

Grateful

And alive

Than ever before

seed

here you are lying

all doubled up with pain

from the wounds they gave

not recognising they said

nothing about

who you are

here you go

seeking the wild

as river of tears run

down your face

feeling the force

of all the unlived life

bursting at the seams

deep within

you turn to greet

your shadow self

along this path of freedom

as you feel the torn threads

all confused and tangled

unravel

and begin to mend

it is going to take some time

to move on through

this latest pain

but deep inside you know

how much there is to gain

by just allowing yourself to

feel it

throwing off the shackles

and prohibitions against freeing it

to embrace the self you were always meant to be

emerging now

from deep inside

the shedding husks

setting free

the tender seed of you

Silence

Silence reveals the secrets of the soul

We buried

It is an opportunity

Just for a while

To slow the mental chatter

And deepen into

The messages of your heart

Silence can be a balm

At times it brings fear

As we draw nearer

In silence

To the abyss

And yet here is where we find our truth

Sometimes impossible to claim

A secret meaning beating its name

With each pulse of our heart

Asking of us only to open ourselves

And embrace it

Completely

shed skins

When the past comes calling

Certainty unwinds

My soul is carried back

To where I lost the threads of self

All tangled up inside

There is a storm of feeling

That I have not fully

Explored

Before

And so the rain of tears begins

It nourishes my skin

All of this feeling

Deep within I discover

A young girl

Who never fully got the chance to live

As herself

And became a person lost

Inside that skin

Seeking the way to kin

Dread

A constant visitor

Should naked truth emerge

And she then become the

Scourge

That order sought

Eradicate

Where to show her true face

Then

Falling into hurting

Again

Only to find deep

Within

The deepest pools of loss

A sense of self that

So desperately wants to live

Now she must find a way

To begin

Too long she wandered there

All alone

So far from comfort

Miles from home

Longing with a longing scarcely felt

Until now

Discovering with the pain of her past

A soul so very desperate

To shed old skins

Vibrating with love

Banished desire and purpose

Hungry for

Her kin

How to be close?

I miss this

Being close to you

Leaning in

Because it just comes naturally

And sometimes I cry

With the remembering

That I never really knew how to do it

You see there were always

These fears

Hidden so deeply in the shadows

Over years and years

And for so long I pretended to myself

I did not need this

Someone to trust

Someone close

But now I cry

With the realisation that

No man is an island

And islands only form

As land masses become overwhelmed

With water

How sad that over time

We lose the way to each other

As our memory of how to be close

Disappears so very very far away

Haunting us never the less

With an invisible longing

That dogs us

All along the life path of our years

songs of happiness

some days I cannot believe

how much happiness floats by me

on the breeze

echoes of laughter

I lost the way to

as the veil of tears fell down

all around me

covering my eyes

sometimes with the dawn

I feel the passing sense of

the tragic and forlorn

leaving me

as deep inside my body

I sense

the resonating trance of rememberance

that bids me to uncoil the past

in a swirling dance

and so it is I feel the shame

dissolving just like summer rain

seeping into crusty soil that longed

for replenishment

this then is my recompense

for years of pain and bitterness

that finally my aching soul

can feel the joy

of winters left

and summers stolen

while deep inside my aching spirit rises

to greet the dawn

and dusk surprises

dancing upon the floating air

untangling the tendrils of past despair

weaving them into

songs of happiness

Speak to me

Speak to me

In the silence of these things

With the simple power of touch

Filled with love

I have had enough of words

To last me an eternity

And its only lately

I find God

In the deep

The gift of sleep

Putting aside

Those thoughts of the mind

That only divide us

From the truth

Of the heart

Please grant me rest

I am so weary of directions

And promises

Why continue

To tear each other apart

With words?

When love breaks through

When love breaks through

Something so deep inside my soul just opens

The defences in me that held me safe

Give way as I fall into the most profound ocean

Of understanding and peace

There is a part of us that is the heart

And that part is the deepest source of us

It shows our soul the way to truth

And provides all the proof that our mind can

Sometimes deny

Sometimes belie

With thinking

When you are kind enough

To extend your love to me

That is how I am freed

From suffering

And when you withhold your love from me

I can never be

Completely at peace

Until I dig so deep

To find the longing for love

That underlies the pain

And answer that with kindness

Again

Opening to

The deepest source of healing and love

Again

And again

And again

Tell me how it is

Tell me how it is for you

And I will listen

I will extend towards you an open ear

And I will not disappear

From you

At this moment of your needing

For this is what we most desire

A place to express and feel free

And to know that

Even if our views differ

We have the strength to understand

And tolerate

Another point of view

A different way of understanding