I was just reading a post from the beautiful Cherie White on how bullies will call you out for reacting to or protesting their abuse and some of the ways they do this relates to being judged as over reacting or being too sensitive and fully ‘human’ for showing natural human reactions in relation to being bullied or hurt.
This triggered a number of memories from growing up in my family and how repressed emotion was and also in my Catholic education, showing ‘balls’ or initiative was often shamed or frowned on and I do not know if this was just about being a female in that system at that time (late 60s to 70s), Anyway it just occurred to me how narrow really were the parameters of permissable behavior to the extent you came to feel like a freak for having your oh so sensitive human emotions.
Today I am glad that I am a sensitive person and I am glad now too that I can be more tough skinned to those tactics designed to shame or shut me down. Its interesting as I came across a post last week in which someone had called me a cry baby.. I had to stand up to this person a couple of years after Mum died and she no longer puts me down as much but she herself had to shut down feeling and so wanted to pass that back. And sadly she is now estranged from one side of her family.
Its not a crime to feel and react to control, invasions of your boundaries, dismissal of your natural way of being, feeling and relating with sad, upset or even angry reactions.. Anger is a guide to where we are being violated and must be listened to..
The link to Cherie’s post appears below.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Wonderful post! My heart breaks for you. It’s true that, back in those days, bullies ruled with an iron fist and we weren’t even allowed to so much as look upset or like we were going to protest and there wasn’t much wiggle room. I’m so proud of you for standing up to your bully after your mom passed away. Keep up the self-care, dear! Know that you have a right to feel angry, sad, or upset when some creep violates your boundaries. You have a right to ve safe and to be treated with dignity and respect. Always remember that! Sending you lots of love and light! 💖🌞💫😍🥰
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See they scare you by making you feel if you protest something really bad will happen to you, so that keeps you in prison.. we have to externalize it otherwise the bullied just end up getting injured or even committing suicide, Cherie its such a serious issue.. hugs and love
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You said it all right there, Deborah- you’re absolutely right. Be bullied then told to shut up can do all those tjings you mentioned. We must insist on not having our boundaries violated and tell the bullies to step off. And be prepared to fight if we have to.God bless you, Deborah. Sending you a mountain of love and hugs, sweetie! 🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖
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Thank you.. Sadly I think they got shut down too, so in that way I feel sad for them, but we have to come slowly to realize we are not that small child anymore who has to put up with it or internalize it..
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Absolutely right, Deborah. You’re a grown woman now and you don’t have to tolerate crap from anyone. You can tell them to go pee up a rope, turn your back, and walk away.
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