I can’t pretend

I cannot pretend

We were not a happy family

And you told me this in 2001

Don’t come home you said

Expecting us to be close

Why didn’t I listen then?

Did I still continue to hold out the impossible hope

Of healing, empathy and connection?

Lately I do not know who I am related to

Everyone seems so distant

And yet on another level I feel I do belong

To this human family

Did I choose to be born the youngest

Why do they tell us this

I am growing tired and yet I am happy

Then sad sometimes too

About all of the things I cannot change

I may die soon

My hair is getting gray

And pushing myself through another day

Sometimes takes all of my strength

Who will be there for me when I fall

I do not know

And yet still I truly do value life

I truly do say

Each and every day

Thank you God

For what

I have

For who I am