Touching the joy present in being

When I get captured by my body symptoms there is no peace.. I am noticing lately peace only comes when I let go and tap into the joy of being present.. Today two ways I did that was to touch my pupster Jasper on his tummy and then listen to his breath and feel the calm as I rested my head near his heart which was lovely I could hear him breathing and since life is breath then I was in that moment touching base with life after a morning where I had a massive energetic swing after eating and further battles with Scott in the early hours over money and help.

I then got out to my local cafe where I can sit and be around people, see the sky and be present with the birds, yesterday I touched base with nature and the birds too, I notice when I talk to the magpies they come closer, yes they are looking for food but they are also super inquisitive intelligent birds and responf to the attention and love.. Today out side on the terrace at my cafe they opened up in song and in such a beautiful way and in that moment I felt pure joy along with a sense of aliveness.. When I got back to the car to check messages the following talk by Eckhart Tolle came up on my You Tube feed. Its interesting as in it he talks about joy and presence and touching base with nature and also about the joy he senses seeing eagles in flight.. This really spoke to me.. As a youngster I always had dreams of flying. I have 7 planets in air in my chart and I also loved to dance, before family gave me the idea was just an overly dramatic attention seeking aspect to my nature. Not true I loved the sheer joy of dancing and feeling my body moving

Real hell for me was being smashed up in that car at 17 and unable to breathe, pinned to a bed for three months not knowing if I would make my school formal, missing it and watching life go by and then coming out of that missing teeth and more teeth and going through all of the following 7 painful years of trauma and more.

Lately I feel I have navigated to the depths of my pain in sobriety, its just I do not want to live in the trauma zone anymore but still I will get drawn into it when I hear stories of others who struggled like Amy Tan, for her she could write about it, as I did, in that way trying to make sense of it and find her own path and peace..

For me now there will be times I go into the ‘story’ and body reactivity but my solution now is to witness that part of me going there from the deeper level of the observer Self. Knowing I am not my trauma has taken time, yes it really affected and changed me and I hope in many ways for good, but it also at times poisoned my world view and there is an antidote to that now.. For me that rests in finding moments of joy, natural connection and presence.. That for me in these recent weeks has provided my trauma cure.

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