A very insightful post by someone doing the hard work of recovery.
I can’t tell you how long I’ve been working on step 4. I’ve done one complete cycle of the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints since first learning about it over 12 years ago. I’ve restarted the Program several times, but tend to get stuck on step 4.
SELF-ABUSE
This is the longest period of time I’ve experienced a form of sobriety from all things in 20 years, including self-abusive patterns. When I emotionally self-abuse, I easily choose to slide back to the way that leads me to temporal/physical self-abusive patterns.I neglect my needs whether temporal, spiritual, or emotional. I used to physically harm my body, especially during the ages of 15-17. Now, when I self-abuse, it’s in a verbal/emotional form.
I look in the mirror and listen to the thoughts picking apart my body, my looks, and who I am as a…
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Emerging From The Dark Night 