homeless : today’s update

There is a sadness and emptiness that arises in the soul when the entirety of us cannot find a home inside. There is a restless that dogs our every waking moment when the risk of relaxing comes with the whiff of threat all defenses mobilized we find no slowing down no sense of inner holding anywhere

Grateful today for a long slow afternoon extending before me after my first therapy session in three weeks.. Kat was impressed with how well I held even if at times it felt challenging, this last time I was able to reach out several times and take the risk to be vulnerable and express how I was authentically feeling and so much help and support came to me.. Same thing when Phil blocked me late last week, it really hurt after I reached out hoping we could be friends but I experienced the hurt and anger and then it passed through me and others validated me.. . Which made me feel so much bettter.

I am being able to meet Scott’s neediness too at the moment. I think in the past I forgot how my partners struggled too, I listened to two shows over past days on men and mental health.. I will provide a link below for any male followers or women who want to help the men they know.. The one this morning on ABC Radio National’s Life Matters concerned male suicide and self care, the one last night formed the second half of a program also on ABC Radio National called Soul Search and concerned a group and app that has been set up by a man called Asher Packman who has used meditation to assist both his self growth and growth in inner awareness. He shares about his challenges and explorations in meditation, he also talks about the groups and app he has developed to help men called The Warrior Within, which I believe has a lot to offer. (Please note that the interview with Asher commences at about the 31 minute mark of the podcast linked to below.)


Asher Packman’s Warrior Within manifesto

Today I can relax and be kind to me.. I am resting and reading after an active morning where I met all my needs and got my chores done.. I am so grateful right now to be feeling more ‘at home’ with my real self and not to be annexing any more vast chunks of myself that make me the unique and lovely person that I am. Facing my own dark spaces has been so important and as Jonathan Cornford shares in the first half of Meredith Lake’s program it is out of these dark places that new seeds of self and healing arise. And even with all of the seeming challenges and ‘threats’ facing us collectively at the moment we still have the power of what energies we wish to feed and of what feelings and activities we wish to nurture to make us feel more joy,, grounding, authenticity, serenity and sense of fulfilment or inner meaning in our lives.

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