My heart was a stranger

For so long my heart was a stranger

With all of the feeling I had to close the doorway on

I became a prisoner in my mind

And there in that wilderness things became so cold

I could not see as clearly before

How much in my younger years

I roamed about

Lost

In a kingdom of ice

But with the easing of the way in

I found this warmth that rose

Even as the hurting began

That I shut the door upon

For so long

A fire you taught me to fear

Was unacceptable

No one could understand

What was happening to me

They only saw me moving

Further and further away

Now I see how it was

But I also know there was no other way

Things could work out

And so if,

Over so many years I cried

As all the inner frozen rivers

Thawed carrying me to the ocean

Where I dissolved

Then there I also saw the dark face of God

Reflected in the face of a black woman

With eyes like moons

That spoke of infinite sorrow

She showed me

There could not be another way

To birth

There would be so many days

I was paralysed even after this

But now I understand

Why it was the doorway to my heart became barred

By all of these scars

All of this confusion and pain

I bore

In silence

13 thoughts on “My heart was a stranger

      1. Thankyou Deborah. They say there is a dark side to God but you probably know that. The darkness hasvgems within it that most people cannot see. But wow, what a dream! ❤️

      2. I agree with you so much. Butvsome people go through life with a silver spoon in their mouths and cannot understand pain at all. What of them? This is what gets me!

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