Its helpful to keep an open mind into our perspective, knowing that as humans it is informed by many things, and, of course, our childhood. It is an insight dawning for me as I listen to some interesting talks on philosophy which illustrate how our particular perspective and indeed even expectations can affect the way we feel about things, the amount we judge ourselves or or others, the amount of patience we can show as well as an insight into depths of feelings and fear underlying difficult behavior in ourselves and others that might have been obscured before.
In the talk of Alain De Botton’s that I listened to today he spoke of how it is a mature insight to recognize that all human beings struggle, that no one is perfect, has more than we do or even the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ take on things, just a take informed by their own perspective and that is is always possible for us to question that particular take or point of view to see ways in which it may be making our life more difficult.
And in an earlier interview with the Australian playwrite David Williamson this issue of philosophy and persepective also loomed large, and in the chat he was having with Micheal Cathcart on The Stage Show he was relating how he saw the ideals of individualism and neo liberalism to be so lacking in compassion and empathy, due to the fact that under neo liberalism the objective is for a person to strive to achieve at any cost and to consider that such achievement is the absolute pinnacle of human endeavor, and alternatively to see those who fail or fall by the wayside as implicitly less deserving. How many of us go through life feeling like failures, or fear opening up, being honest, raw, real and vulnerable, or concentrate more on making a good impression than being honest?
For myself lately I see where I have missed the mark out of my own wounding and trust issues. I see where in romanticising things I got myself all mixed up.. and I guess it is just a fact of life and living that as we age our perspective on our lives as well as the lives of others may change, hopefully to make ourselves more understanding and compassionate to ourselves and others.
I am both going easy on myself lately and also being more disciplined in some ways.. I see lately that for most of my life I was sitting on a lot of anger, disappointment, confusion and frustration, that most particularly increased after my Mum died and I got involved with ‘Scott’ seeking a way out to be related outside of my family of origin which, at that time seemed so so unnurturing. But over the past 3 years I see more of the way in which my expectations of siblings and nephews were not realistic and needed to be lowered. I created a lot of grief for myself and for them too, by trying so hard to be related and expecting more.. Maybe my sister was right when she warned me in 2001 that coming home hoping to find happiness in the family was doomed. And those high expectations, at times meant I could not be as compassionate as I needed to be.
Anyway I am just letting that all go now, the things that others say hurt them by me writing about them or struggling with them, the things that hurt me. Life leading up to now was deeply painful really but in the end it has been a more peaceful option to accept that and I am glad I could feel that rage and let it out in some way in August.. .I must also not forget this truth : that just because you don’t have contact with someone it doesn’t mean you do not feel love for someone, it may just mean that for both of you life is taking you in very different directions as it needs to… despite this love really is demonstrated more by actions that a million sweet words.
All in all life is peaceful. My life just runs easier for me when I only have to take care of my own life right now. Spending time alone does not have to be lonely as there is so much beauty in the world and many interesting things and ideas to explore. I know other times of connection will come and go but maybe in different ways to the ways I imagined or ever hoped before.. I will just continue to keep an open mind andlistening to teachings on accepting a realistic form of grounded humanity and humility that makes my life more serene, balanced, grounded and easier to manage. It is a huge relief lately to just feel safe enough and relaxed enough to draw a deep and satisfying cleansing breath.
The whole world is going through radical changes, and it’s not just our planet, our cosmos is shifting. The north and south poles are shifting, a cause for concern as we know our past is now a distant memory. Attempting to ‘fix’ our lives to that old paradigm will bring greater suffering. This Moon brings so much to the table, our past karmas are reverberated, we are reminded not to make the same mistakes twice. To rid of our self-righteous attitudes, shift our beliefs to the correct alignment of current times and step into what is being inflated emotionally for authentic clearing. The greatest bulk of this energy is hidden, is unknown, is out of view. This makes the new Moon energy potent as it initiates tremendous demands on those of us who find it difficult to express and heal our pain body. Each of us must remember by stripping away, surrendering our beliefs, and with careful execution of our emotions we can build greater stronger connections.
Quote taken from linked article. :