Under the cover of silence

Even as I tell of things

Wringing out of my fingers

This wonky poetry

Struggling to articulate

My tormented ‘truth’

Where is the proof that

This is in anyway

The unchanging reality?

When really all of this

Expression is for me

A way of working through

While trying my best to contain

A bodily anxiety

About an unspeakable reality

Lately I question

How useful it is

To blame ourselves

Or any other human being

For seeing differently

Or apprehending with their own particular version

Of ‘reality’

So what if they are different

From the person

We feel we need them to be?

Can we find a way

To feel okay

Deep in the midst of all of this

Uncertainty and chaos?

I hurt you

That much seems to be true

Even if it was only my intention to express

Things I felt flying under the cover

Of deep silence

And frenetic activity

I did not just pretend to like you

Or be interested or kind

I was trying to understand things

Feom your point of view

Even as the things I saw seemed, at least to me

Detrimental in retrospect

In the end I am not here to judge

God knows I struggle

With so many things that were

Too much for me

Can we find a common ground

Standing shoulder to shoulder as you say?

Maybe was also so hard for you

Not knowing really what to do

But having to do something

Anyway

It must be tough but this is just our life

I did not mean to criticise

I was only trying to find a way to address and express

The pain of so much

I sensed

Had fallen deep under the cover

Of silence