These feelings : invisible

These feelings will come and go

I know

Fueled by an ever present

Deep underground sub-tone

That rises and falls

This frustration that I feel

Over it all

Will sometimes explode

In therapy

Or in the solitude of my home

With only Jasper as my witness

And not being human

He will not know

What this storm is all about

Sometimes it seems I stand

So far apart from myself

And then my lingering glimpses

Expand to encompass an emerging reality

Obscured before

By childish things

There was a longing I could not deny

But there was also a part of me that always knew

Things were cold

Around our family home

And so if as a two year old

I see myself held tenderly by her

With a look that speaks of unruptured innocence

And joined hands

Held together

Pointing towards the heaven in prayer

Then maybe there was always a part of me

Connected to some larger knowing

And even as the wild seas churned so deeply

Sending all of these shock waves

And hidden currents of feelings beneath

Was I really ever drowning

Or just learning how to ride the tides?

All of these feelings come and go

They rise and fall

As more and more I see

I was never the architect of it all

So why the hell with all the pain I underwent

Did I try so hard to save everyone else

Only to be left completely alone

When I needed anything?

Sadly lately I am seeing

Just how invisible

I really ever was

To you all

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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