The comment below was left on a post by a qualified counselor who gave me so much support when I was grieving so much of my childhood in the years prior to my mother’s death (2014-2017).. This kind of validation and support helps us to legitimize what happens to us.. When our pain is not validated then we cannot know what was deeply real and true for us.. I pray for anyone on such a healing pathway they find those who can do this for them.. we do not get wounded in isolation and we cannot heal in isolation either especially if our legitimate childhood emotional experience is invalidated or remains unlegitimized.
Those who haven’t been through such emotional rejection and invalidation, don’t know how it feels to grieve this. It is a much deeper grief, it is a very complex grief..When your tears lessen, you will know that your grief is coming to an end. The grief has multiple layers.. You can grieve for yourself, you can grieve for your family’s pain..you can grieve for others..You are highly empathetic and feel deeply..There is nothing wrong with you..only that you have been through too much! Your mother will not be able to handle any pain, any weakness as it reflects on her..(that she failed you as a mother) and also because she doesn’t want to deal with her own pain..I would definetely advise to keep your emotions to yourself and not go to your mother for support, as she just isn’t able to give you the support you need..You have to think of her as being emotionally disabled..Much love to you, always