In a very frightening place

I just want to post a quick update as its not been possible to function or even stand up since Wednesday. I do not know why only that the energy hit me that afternoon while watching a program where a woman died in the same way as my Dad. On the operating table as they tried to perform a tracheotomy. I had no idea this would be on the show and it all happened as the Moon met Pluto.

I had an attack and could not stand up. It completely blindsided me. I did manage to drive to therapy on Thursday but my left leg is not working properly. I also managed to hobble to a chiropractic appointment yesterday supported by a gentle man who helped me up the stairs. I do not know why I am in this place…today I’ve felt crushed by a force as my head trauma replayed. I am praying so hard this all passes. Its been occurring too since my sister is back in touch. We share the similar issues. But its frightening me..there feels such a powerful heavy force around lately…it been a real challenge to sleep walk and eat. Ive been having to rest in bed as I had three nights of no sleep.

21 thoughts on “In a very frightening place

  1. It probably has to to with how you still hadn’t quite, grieved properly for losing your father completely, and, you may need to grieve over the one you loved so dearly, and had lost more, and, know, that eventually, you will get better in time.

  2. Thinking about you. Sometimes it feels like the lowest lows are gone through in healing. As we heal our hurting parts we feel them, and it can be so overwhelming. Maybe that is what you are experiencing. It doesn’t make the pain any less, but just wanted to share this hopeful message of what might be happening within you. Know I am here with whatever you want it share, and sending you constant love. You are so strong. 🌸

    1. You nailed it completely..you always do..you are a very special person..I cried today fir so many if those longings and hurts..its also about the desire to be fully fearlessly alive and connected..si hard to articulate but I know you understand.

      Thanks for being such a truly wonderful support and for such valuable feedback.

  3. Riding the roller coaster is very daunting there is no letting up from it, You know I can relate in many ways.

    I had my mom give me a ring because she has been concerned about my mental health.

    There some days where I find myself so lost in the state of quick sand

    You got this Dark Ravn

    Slainte

    Alex

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