A leap of trust

I am taking another leap of trust, it is frightening me and exciting me and at times making me cry.. To make myself vulnerable means in some way I am without an assurance of how things will turn out, the question is can I trust, as Louise Hay teaches, that the Universe and life has my back? Or am in going to continue to think everything is against me and that things never seem to work out..

Eclipse times are certainly precarious, between the two eclipses a lot can happen. Devotees of spiritual practice say that around these times its important to be quiet and silent and not be too reactive, that said old conditions have a way of dissolving around eclipses and I have read, and experienced that sometimes there are significant deaths around eclipses.. I remember the death of Steve Urwin occured around an eclipse and there are other significant deaths I have seen around eclipses.

At times the enormity of my journey opens up before me lately but thinking about it that goes along with it being Sagittarian time which gives us a panoramic overview especially of the hidden meaningful and spiritual aspects of our soul journey.. I see the life with my family slipping away each day.. I tried to contact my brother today to get authority to have Mum’s ashes moves to the cemetery so I can finally lay her to rest with Dad, its coming up for 3 years soon and my sister was not well enough to help me organise anything until late last year we had a joint headstone made for them both and now only need to place the ashes there but when I rang the Crematorium they told me I don’t have authority and will not tell me who has authority as its bound by privacy.. This stirred me up, I am sure Gary has authority so I tried to call and then emailed.. I hope to get this sorted as it has worried me that after 3 years this has still not been sorted by us and as it is I will need to do it alone, though Mum’s best friend offered to come with me when I asked her a few months ago.

I am praying that this last amount will see Scott home. The Secretary of the military is going to fly down to where they are and bring him back. Things have been horrendous over there as on 29 November Boko Haram slaughtered (by cutting their throats), 43 innocent farm workers who travelled from home to find work in Maiduguri. I read about it online after Scott told me yesterday it was the reason he was out of touch for a few days. I do not know how these guys cope in this job.. It is 3 years they have been on deployment in January 2021, and I cannot not try to help Scott now since the military are only asking a small amount to get him out and back to the States so he can reimburse my money… I prayed a lot about this after he told me last night and fell to my knees crying about it before our walk earlier in the day. It just feels like a coalescing of all the energies of the separated masculine coming to a head and too much like a meeting with fate for me to think this is all just an accident..and so this afternoon I decided to put my faith in God.. Maybe I should not share about it, but this blog is my honest log of my life and this is what is presenting itself in my life right now..

I had a busy afternoon but I am feeling peaceful right now. I know in life I have to listen to my heart and soul and often my head via fears and doubts and insecurities often does not tell the truth of things.. I put my trust in Scott now because its what I feel I must do.. I don’t know when he can get into Australia as travel home is still limited for residents and Scott has an Australian passport but has not been a resident since he left here in his early 20s following the death of his father.. But just knowing he is safe and home in the States by Christmas will be enough for me. At least when he gets there we will be able to talk on the phone.. That will, for both of us, be a dream come true. So any prayers for us will certainly be greatly appreciated since he feels his prayers prompted the meeting of the Executive committee that offered to extend this opportunity to us.. I pray the military does not let us down yet another time..

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