Letting myself be

Sometimes the hardest thing of all is simply letting myself be, and not try too hard, not be pulled by thoughts into action. I just read a powerful post that spoke of how while we have power over our actions, we do not have the power over how they turn out. We all know that we can act with the best of intentions and still end up shooting ourselves in the foot, metaphorically speaking..

Getting into a calmer space and practicing being with myself, is often, what needed instead of launching into anxious action. That said to maintain my emotional health I need time in nature, walking and lots of fresh air too, but apart from that and good food, there is not a lot I SIMPLY MUST HAVE in order to feel good. Sometimes its actually a case of less is more, doing less, allowing myself time to kick back, taking the pressure off.

I was reading in Beth Aisbett’s book 30 Days 30 Ways to Overcome Anxiety today that we anxiety sufferers need to watch when we feel pressure to do something due to shoulds, oughts, and other expectations, especially those that are externally based.. People who suffer from panic disorders are more likely to be perfectionists or feel that we must please others, or present a good image, not be ‘lazy’, or have permission to rest.. This is often just how we were raised and we may only have been valued for what we did, not who we are, in fact who we are may have seemed unacceptable. Becoming internally referenced can be a big deal for some of us..

I look back now to certain actions I took under pressure of what I thought I should do or was being pressured into doing and see it didn’t go well. A lot of this went down in my last relationship and he called me agraphobic at one stage because as an introvert I often liked my solitude.. I got forced to go on trips and then in trouble because of the way I reacted, for example to his father being ill which triggered sadness over my own Dad. Compassion was never shown me, instead I was read the riot act. I thought today how sad it was at that point I kept staying and didn’t take back my own power, but there you go I obviously, at that point, did not feel I had any.

Today after an anxious start I am feeling calmer.. I let myself rest.. I just kicked the soccer ball around the backyard with Jasper as he missed his walk earlier, wouldn’t come with me on mine and tbh I am too bushed to walk again.. It is actually pretty hot out there, right now and I have washing to sort and a carpet that got waterlogged I am drying out.. Saying no to my pooch sometimes makes me feel like a bad Mum but its a rare day now he doesn’t get a walk and I will probably manage one after dinner anyway, with daylight savings..

It feels good to be able to suit myself right now. I got into a panic about my nephew this morning thinking I should sell up to help him, this is where my thoughts go… being able to kick back and just take care of my own life can feel a bit lazy at times but it isn’t. And sometimes rest is exactly what body calls for. Its a gift to myself when I allow myself that luxury.

**************

Those who have let go of being told who they are by the world, and choose to know and embody that which they are, will be available to F-E-E-L the meeting with this Light and respond without thinking or analyzing. It is a very personal experience, and the power of this will take your breath away. Why? Because you will find that in the natural state, you will no longer be breathing the dank air of a closed and confined system, but rather, this Knowing Presence will begin to breathe you. The celebration of the fusion of spirit and matter will raise you and dance you through the paradox of death and endings, twirling, dipping, and lifting you into the sound and song of new beginnings.

Link to Elaine’ s article from which the above quote was taken to be found here :

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