At times I am so happy
I feel the spirit of life and love moving through me
At these times
It seems I taste a precious glimpse of freedom
From all that has been hurting me
And then there is a deadening that comes
Some way I almost set myself up
To fail
Trapped within a state of mind
I so badly need to leave behind
Then
When the grief comes down
It feels so heavy
And yet it is, also
Passing on through
Like a wild river
That longs for the ocean
Just so
My loving spirit longs for freedom
From all of this
The burden of ages
Ancestors trapped in cages
Of unreconciled longing
Pulling on me
Surely there is a way
To let this river
Of so much trauma
Carry me
To a place where finally
I can embrace the freedom
Of life lived
Outside all of this
Deep sense of failure
That so often
Only grinds my living spirit
Down to dust
