The unfixable thing

There are things that hurt and are always going to keep hurting, that is a truth I am trying to take on board lately. Certain family relationships will always be a source of pain. With some family members you will feel a wall of opaque glass that allows no two way reciprocity, the person doesn’t get you, they misinterpret you, they cannot seem to hear you, you may start to react in the face of that and that will be used as further ammunition or proof of how impossible you are.. they will often talk to others behind you back but won’t have the capacity to be honest with you face to face, after all, as far as they are concerned you are not worthy of certain things other people are, and then if this relationship affects others it is going to end up hurting even more.

This is not to say our perspective is authoritatively ‘right’ either, but in any case a dialogue would be preferable to stonewalling and shut down.. This evening I just cried all doubled over again, there are certain wounds that just hurt, and sometimes nothing stops the pain. When this happens I have to go down on two knees or all fours and pray, I hand it all over to another power and pray to my spirits and guides, at that point I am ‘beyond human aid’ as it says in the AA Big Book, that is when I have to just be silent and accept.. it hurts, the way some family members react to you and treat you just really, really hurts.

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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10 thoughts on “The unfixable thing”

  1. I find it easier, that we should just, focus, on, getting our selves, healed back up from the damages of our childhood, caused by our own parents, stay true to who we are, becoming, instead, of asking and wondering, why we we, hurt as children, it would make our lives, a whole lot, easier, and, this is, from my own, personal, experiences, dealing with the years of never-ending abuse and nrgl3ct, at my, adult counterparts, hands…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This post is very timely, as I am dealing with this issue right now with family members. It’s amazingly ironic that the people from whom I am receiving the most criticism are my own family. Isn’t that the opposite of how it should be?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes But sadly family members can be the worst at times. I was once told many if us need a new family if choice. Sadly so often family members dint get us or side with a narcissistic parent. I am currently reading Mary Trumps book on her uncle and this happened in their family..its very toxic and damaging.


  3. I’m very sorry you are going through this and I’m glad you are writing and sharing. I believe it is helpful in so many ways. I like that you recognize someone else’s behavior ( even when we love them) doesn’t define us. It belongs to them. You belong to you and it sounds to me that you are a very insightful individual. I appreciate that you shared your experience ❤️.

    Liked by 1 person

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