A family friend just called to say she went to visit my sister and they have her heavily sedated.. its like a knife to the heart but this shows categorically I need to step away.. I cannot witness what the medical profession does and it just strikes me as wrong… I see the addiction issue under this as my sister’s biochemistry has been fucked around for so many years plus all those sessions of shock treatment they gave her it just make her comatose.. I know categorically only God can help her now there is a saying in the fellow ship ‘beyond human aid’. Many of us have to go into the dark and those who love us, no matter how much they love us cannot go with them.. we have to let them go.. I will be praying extra hard for my sister but I know I cannot do the visiting any more.. I have gone through enough with all of this.. I just have to break free to my own life… even if that means selling up and moving away and trying to make it on my own without my inheritance.. God will take care of me.. he didn’t keep me sober for 26 years for nothing.
Post script…after posting this I realised how terrified I feel for my sister. I just let myself experience the gtoundlessness of that…there is no ‘solution’ to this and so I choose to let go and hand it over to a higher source. ♥️💜♥️