Hungry for your love

I was always hungry for your love

Mum

I was always hoping you might see me

I found a way to stay within your orbit

By fitting my younger self

Around your needs

Even if I had to squeeze

So much of me down tight inside

It is clear to me now

How much I had to lie

To my body

So many times

Submitting to all of the things you felt the need to do

To ‘improve’ me

My bucked teeth, my too big feet

My legs that wanted to spread open

Just to find my right place

In the space of life

Instead it felt to me as if

I always was being forced to hide

The parts of me inside

That did not fit your image

Of how I should be

That is why

Even now

Sad to say I struggle to be free

And see the struggle of someone else

Still dying behind the fences she had to erect

To win other’ s love

And stay safe

While losing herself

My heart aches at times

To see this truth

If only we had been taught

To love ourselves as we were

And nurture our gifts

And stop all of this

Striving to please

But old habits die hard

And sometimes it is only pain

That shows us we must

Categorically try to find a new way

To be in this world

No longer cutting ourselves down to size

No longer listening to all the lies

That say

We will never be

Good enough

8 thoughts on “Hungry for your love

  1. We all have experiences, of not being loved by our own parents, because they weren’t, loved right by their own, parents, and, without the example of how to be, good parents, they are, inept, as parents to us, and, growing up, without proper parents, it damages us, and , for some of us, we realized, that we weren’t, loved right, and, we change that, learn how to love others, the right way, but unfortunately, this, isn’t, always the case, most people, just, pass the way they were, mistreated by their own parents, to their own young, and this vicious cycle just, keeps on going, without, end…

  2. Brilliant Expressionism Mate

    Some mothers shouldn’t be as so they are Incapable of being devotional

    Why have kids in the first place if they do not fit your mold or serve value to you !!!!

    Slainte

    Alex

    1. Totally agree, if you can’t be a good parent don’t be selfish enough to have children unless you truly can nurture and support them. Sadly life isn’t perfect and shit happens and we must live on bearing the pain of what our parents didnt get and had to re-enact upon us in some way finding a way not to be eaten up by that pain.

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