I longed for this so often
The comfort of loving arms to hold me
A place of containment
Where Mum and Dad’s love
Wove a strong net to keep me secure
But all I experienced instead
Where these tears
And so many comings and goings
As you all grew into your own lives
So now if I always falter
Looking back
Longing to be seen and connect
Please be patient with me
You see it was so hard to trust
Held hostage in a world so insecure
Where I struggled so hard
To hold myself together
When what I most needed was instead
To fall apart
So if my holding ground
Became these substances
So much more secure than loving arms
Again be patient with me
The very last thing I want or need
Is to become a burden
But oh how my soul so often aches too
For someone
Just sometimes to see
Deep into the heart
Of my hidden need
