the new (ab) normal :today's reflections

Was grateful for 6 solid hours straight sleep last night but when I woke today it was to a sense of constriction and sadness as last night more governmental ‘regulations’ for distancing and vetoing of restaurants, bars and cafes being opened was announced… and today my therapist told me we wont be meeting for the foreseeable future, only via video call.

I expressed why I think this is difficult but I have to suck it up and to be honest, I spent as much time as I could today in the garden and in nature and while gardening I had the thought that surely this Corona Virus pandemic is meant to be, the planet is getting a chance to cleanse some pollution and apparently dolphins are now returning to the Venetian canals.. It occurred to me that the nature God Pan is related to Capricorn, the current site of the Mars Pluto Saturn conjunction.. and Capricorn is Saturn ruled and has to do with the imposition of checks and balances of nature upon us…

Today in therapy we got to sort out why all of this social distancing is triggering from me and we went over some of the most painful events from the darkest final years of my addiction. I cried a lot as I began to realise all I had endured in terms of isolation but a deeper recognition was also dawning that my sense of never fitting into the mainstream actually was a positive thing.. I saw deeper, felt deeper and danced to a different drum for the longest of times…And often felt set apart…

Now I do have places I can go with my real heart and true self and feel seen and known, I am also aware when I am in contact with people from that alien world… hard to describe but a lot of people out there are at times shut down and not necessarily as highly in tune with themselves or nature, so if the price of suffering so much was that I was then to come to know myself as somewhat set apart, then why not accept that….and place my energy into those things that bring my soul joy.. thus the gardening and time spent in nature, both of which sooth my soul and give me a sense of wholeness as well as being in touch with a source of natural fulfilment and replenishment.

The new normal is going to take some time to adapt to.. no more dinners out (not that I go out to eat at night much, but often during the week it was a treat to go and shout myself a nice lunch at one of my favourite cafes, as living alone I prepare all of my own meals and at times its nice to have this done for you), no more sitting with Kat in therapy for those two precious hours a week, no more movie group, or comedy festivals or even listening to excerpts from the numerous writer’s festivals all of which have been cancelled. No more hugging, probably going to witness some people giving Jasper and I a wide berth, and yet there are things to be grateful for too. More stillness and quiet time, a chance to experiment with some new recipes, the chance to keep writing and making sure we enjoy every moment of those lovely sunlit walks through the bush…

My therapist actually said to me today “Deborah, you are actually going to fare better than a lot of my clients because you have your blog.” Yes WHAT PRECIOUS GIFT THIS COMMUNITY IS TO ALL OF US.. So even though today the new ‘normal’ feels somewhat ‘ab’ normal, maybe its all meant to be. Mars meeting Saturn in the early degrees of the sign of humanity circulating may push our connections to our soul group members to a more internal or etheric levels. surely we can work to find ways to connect through the mental plane.. just worry a bit about the effect on our immune systems and the body if we fall too much out of human touch with each other physically.. yes the new ‘ab’ normal is going to take a bit of adjustment for sure but maybe if we just trust all is working out for good in the end we will find peace.

I just read Barbara Franken’s latest blog and this paragraph. I am linking to it below.. in it she speaks of being with our Divine self.. I love the following paragraph

For me this virus is about bringing everyone through isolation, to be with themselves. When you are quiet on your own, it is such a great opportunity to feel you, to get to know you, to get to know your answers and truly know that everything is fine. 

8 thoughts on “the new (ab) normal :today's reflections

  1. IT Helps a great deal too have a good cry ,Runny Snotty Nose.HELPS ME SO MUCH
    if you would like a chat any time. I AM HERE

    mark

      1. I am Mark. I will take up your invite to email you soon.. it was night when you sent the earlier messages and I was out earlier.. I will send you an email shortly.. thanks very much for checking in.. hope you are okay too..

  2. Thanks deb for sharing my words and blog post❤️ Like myself you have felt a misfit, not fitting in and in a way we are used to isolating ourself, exploring within… now everyone is being forced to do the same! Your blog is going to be a great resource for people as they come to terms with this an normal life❤️ Keep up the great work… just knowing everything is perfectly in place in order to bring about massive change to Humanity🥰 With gratitude and love, Barbara x

    1. I had that realisation over the past days Barbara.. I saw this coming since 2001 in some strange way.. maybe we are the way showers now since we got used to the inward turn.. I feel we are being called collectively in this direction your post strongly resonated.. and knowing its all in the right flow helps so much.. resistance just creates more suffering really.. and there is such light in the solitude.. hugs and love ❤

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