It is so important in this life to know our own value, and it seems to me that some of us allow others to define what our value is, especially if who we are was invalidated in childhood. Highly Sensitive Person write Elaine Aron actually wrote a book called The Undervalued Self, it is about how those of us who are sensitive with high empathy are not always valued as children and go on not to value our true selves. Many of us learn to adopt a false self or persona without even realising that is what we are doing unconsciously. Finding who we really are for some of us suffering soul loss can be a long journey of reclamation.
When we allow other people to ‘make us up’ or define us, we get erased. There is an entire book written on this called Controlling People, written by Beverly Engel. Such people tell you how you feel or what you should think, do or feel, they blame you for things that are not your fault and in this way as Engel explains they are making you into a pretend person. To be on the receiving end of this hurts and is very painful and its like being shut in a cage with no key while iron filings of shrapnel are fired at your soul. Then if you get angry about it the person will mock or shame or ridicule you further offering you no reprieve and no way out. Sometimes even driving you crazy.
For those of us with deep emotional abandonment who never found a solid place of self value we may just buckle under to the confinement. We suffer Stockholm Syndrome. We need someone from outside to name the game and we have to shut the door to incorrect valuations. Losing the way to the power of our soul and authenticity hurts and we wont find peace or energy or power until we find the way back. That rests on us knowing our true self and value and fighting for it. It rests in deflecting the inaccurate criticisms and attacks of others and finding our true reference point of value within.