Kindness

Kindness may be underrated in this world of competitiveness, me first philosophies and lots of other white noise and fan fare. Kindness and gentleness may be qualities that when a person possesses them seem to some to mark them out as ‘weak’, lack lustre or insignificant when the truth is that a very kind and gentle person who is truly in touch with the depths of reflection, wisdom and love is often very strong. This kind of strength is not necessarily so overt it is of the character of a subtle reed that bends easily with the wind while still staying firmly rooted to its own spot of earthly connection and groundedness.

True kindness to me is anything but weak, it is a force of power that can overcome mountains and generates from an attitude of self love radiating outwardly. Kindness has the courage to feel the deepest hurts and hold them while extracting the lesson in order to learn new ways of being, boundary, connection and relationship, Kindness to the self and others knows what is not acceptable in relating to and being related to by others. Kindness fortified by courage will confront issues head on in a respectful and gentle way, even if others are being abusive or disrespectful, it has the power to open to apology and forgiveness and accept the imperfection of the human world and nature where fear and shame and other shadow feelings can so often overcome us. But it also has the strength to set boundaries and overcome other fears of abandonment or engulfment which can at times possess us when confronted in relationships with others.

Kindness should most surely start with ourselves and in some intrinsic way is related to compassion, Compassion means that the passions driving the soul to a certain behaviour are recognised, rather than judged or shamed or seen as ‘flaws’ or mistakes or ‘sins’. Compassion knows the pain that comes out of hurt and will recognise when we also feel the need to hurt others because we feel pain and in the midst of that impulse turn towards the hurting part, to dialogue with it and give it what it truly needs FROM US and FROM WITHIN. In this it will stop the impulse to harm and see that it will only end up in creating more hurt.

Kindness at its deepest level therefore most probably comes from a good working relationship with our wounded or soulful inner child. The spiritual child within can realise that adults are so often flawed or damaged or wounded in some way and have passed this on. It can recognise and sit with the wounded self and it can walk away from conflict that is going nowhere when that seems the kindest thing to do, both for ourselves and for the other person.

Kindness is gentle and powerful, wise and quiet, profound and strong.

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