The need for connection and the need for distance can play out in all kinds of weird dynamics in relationships especially when we have early attachment trauma or wounds that bring up fears of engulfment or abandonment with deep roots in the past (anxious or avoidant attachment styles.) There are several excellent books out there to help us understand the dynamic but I just came across this article online which I am partly sharing for followers but also for my own education and interest.
Emerging From The Dark Night 