Don’t tell me

Please do not tell me again

How much you love me

When the wild tiger in me is on the rampage

Holding all the hurt of those thorns

Lodged so deeply in its paws

I will only unleash the full fury of a past

That was so devoid of this kind of love

That all I wish to do at times

Is destroy what is unbearable

You offer me love

From a war torn place

Where love cannot be expressed

Face to face

Skin on skin

Don’t you see what this does to me

Don’t you understand

How it tears me apart day after day

To be offered the possibility of what I never ever had

The absence of which cut so deeply beneath skin

Like a double edged knife

Today it all seems impossible

My trauma is electric

And its is burning like wildfire

As my body does its best to contain

The consciousness I have been forced to carry

For everyone else

And sometimes it just seems far too much

This burden fate has forced me

To be the bearer of

As I wander like Osiris

Over a barren landscape

Attempting to recollect the dismembered grief

Of my ancestors

Cant you understand at times

It is entirely too much

To offer me this

When you are also trapped

And yet again is it I

Who must pay the ransom

For your freedom

Don’t you see

No matter how much you love me

It is myself I must save

So please please please

Don’t tell me again

How much you love me