The unwelcome visitor

I did not welcome your visit trauma

I did not open the door and say

Here take a seat and poison all my good and trusting thoughts of others

No it was you who broke down the door

Barrelling your way inside

Tearing the way underneath skin and tissue

Working your way deep inside the marrow of my bones

And so if at times I look ugly and I rage

As the shards you have left inside me bleed or ache

Trying to work their way to the surface

Who will actually give me comfort

When my most painful experience is that

Even those who say they care

Are driven to walk away

No trauma I did not invite you to take up residence inside me

But never the less I can

Hold my own hand when I am hurting

Hear the pain and powerlessness and feelings of vulnerability

That underlie the rage

I can offer you the soothing of nature

The wise mind antidote of compassion

And despite what others say

I can give you a voice

In whatever way I find to express my unique experience

It may never be possible for me to fully explain

The dark legacy you forced me to endure

But never the less I can

If I am strong enough

Learn to shed this shame

Find a place of containment and safety

Where my pain and suffering is recognised

So that poisonous anger, resentment and blame

No longer leaves me imprisoned

Or ties my soul up in chains