Will you notice me?

If I try to be good

If I learn to anticipate all of your needs

Will you notice me?

Mum for me you were the sun

And did you realise

How the light went out when you were not around

I seemed to fall through darkness

As the emptiness grew

And I sought so desperately for a way to fill

The void of hunger deep inside

And despaired so silently

For what could never be

At least not in the way

That would mean the most to me

But now I also see with a  wider view

That maybe it was not easy for you

To bear a child at 36

Who questioned everything

And was so full of life and fire

Unbridled free expression and desires

And so I learned to play small

To button myself all up inside

And hide the things I feared would be too hard for you to know

But forgiveness is coming to me now

As I see more clearly how I tried so hard

To be seen

And got so lost

And maybe now I can finally let go

No longer counting as much of the cost

Of trying so hard

And so longing for a love

That came in a far different form of expression

From what I ever truly understood

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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