Do I?

Do I cry the tears you cannot cry

And is that why

Now so much water is pouring from my eyes

As my being feels set adrift again on that vast ocean

Churning and churning with so much repressed emotion

That is not just mine but yours and our entire family history

 

The text came just a while ago

To say that you are on you way

To Hyson Green

There are least you may get some rest

And not be as alone as you have been

 

My heart aches

For you are flesh of my flesh too

And the grief I feel has no end

Really

And are all these tears really the best of surrender

That I can do

As I let myself cave in

Feeling it all as dappled light falls

Silently here in my room?

All of this we carry is far too wordless to name

You bear the memories too

Even if unremembered

And unlike me you cannot just barrel through

Not that I do

But its what the critic says

Instead somehow

I just find a way to keep moving forward

Until the tide pulls upon me one more time

Taking me down but only for a while

And maybe there will never ever be

An escape from our unspoken history

At least that is what this latest development

Tells me

When I listen to the silence