I wish

I wish I knew then

What I know now

But life is not this way

It can only be understood in retrospect

For that is the way we learn

I pray always to remember

That any life is a work in progress

The tough times at times feel unbearable

And we wish that things were not that way

But never the less our only hope of change or redemption

As Rilke says

Lies in bending to receive them

And open ourselves fully to the experience

In order to learn

In order to grow

In order to change

It may at times seem that we are cursed

That things could not get worse

I know that in my own life

I have so often felt that way

And at times things DID get worse

Despite my best efforts

And I now know that is because

Some things in life were just beyond my control

And it was only my mixed up thinking

That led me to believe

I had a greater power over those things than I did

There is no way out of it

In life we can get some tough lessons

Nature show us that for a plant to grow better and stronger

It often needs to be pruned

At just the right moment

And so it is for us

Often things are cut off or removed from us

At the time we do not understand why we have to face this

But I do not think the seasons of nature argue as they are about to pass

In nature things submit to the flow

Its is only humans who want to eradicate

The ending or darker phase of this process

That is the precursor to new life

The generator of new seeds

And so in the end

It is better that we learn to surrender willingly

And with good grace

To allow the things to end or die that need to

For often holding on will only make things worse

And bring down a curse

We may have forestalled

If we had the willingness

To be humble

And surrender to the process and the flow

Choosing to die to the past surrender and let go