Blue topaz

This morning

In my imagination I was again

Cycling across the meadows

Towards the Botanic Garden

Scarf blowing in the breeze

Blue topaz earrings dangling

 

One disappeared by days end

I only noticed

As I caught a glance of my reflection

In the bathroom mirror

They were

The first present you gave me

After we married

A reflection of your soul and spirit

And today

 I remember the heaven

We knew there for a time

Which was so brief

Merely a blip in time

Eventually swallowed by all the pain

Of my unreconciled past

And I realise with sadness

Those days of peace and potential

Will not come again

And who knows where my Blue Topaz now lies

Under Cambridge skies

But thank you my love

For the years

We spent

Trying

For the gift

And yes,

Even for the heartbreak

As day dawns here

All these years hence I find my tears

No longer hurt as much

Are more a kind of cleansing

Those times my love

Of cycling towards the meadows together

Through cow parsley waist high

Will never come again

And some loses we can never reclaim

Only learn over long years

To find a way to live

Without

And find the gift and healing

With in the pain