What is right in front of us

These are just some thoughts I have contemplating this afternoon.  Why is that when life places things before us, right under our noses so to speak we end up rejecting them, or we dismiss them and think our meaning or life or purpose exists in some far off place or grand project rather than what is served up to us by life?

It seems so easy to wake up each morning (for me) with a negative monologue running around in my head.  Listing all of my defects, all the reasons why I cannot participate and then when life does not go according to plan, say a person is late I can start to rebel and think of how I can wrest back control so as not to be so inconvenienced.  But then my anxiety grows and there is an inner tussle or an argument.  If I was just patient and did not allow my triggers to kick in, displaced my attention on something else the anxiety and negative reaction would no longer be the focus and my mood shifts.  Well I actually tried this today and I just let the cascade of anxious reactions in my body run their course instead of reacting or trying to change the circumstance or person and in time everything worked out fine.

For me these insights could all be coming to light as in a days time Mars opposes the Sun exactly at 4 degrees of Aquarius and Leo shedding a full moon light on my deeply entrenched Mars (action/frustration/assertiveness) patterns.   I saw a lot today about not only this event to day but also about past time knee jerk reactions which ended up making my life just way more difficult where as if I could have contained my feelings in a more effective way rather than knee jerking the pain both to myself and to others could have been minimised. What I have learned lately is that its okay to be angry but its not okay just to lash out, for one thing most people are not going to understand the intensity of the response containing as it does a backlog of feelings from a host of other events and experiences.   And once I can find my words in a more assertive way I have a far better chance of being heard and taken seriously.  I also do not end up re-enacting the rage or anger on my own body where it causes me even more pain or anxiety or depression.

So today I am saying a big ‘Thank You’ to Mars retrograde.  I do appreciate the lessons tough as they seem to have been over past weeks and years, being frustrated or delayed was not a reason to give up but a reason to keep digging and seeking or looking for the lesson in the delay or experience in order that I could grow through the process.

 

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Anger, Anxiety, Emotional Awareness, Self Awareness2 Comments

2 thoughts on “What is right in front of us”

  1. Really relate to this as I too have noticed that I feel angry or hurt etc and want to lash out. Maybe it’s because I feel I didnt have a voice before that makes me lash out even more vehemently. And yes people don’t understand or appreciate the intensity and I become locked in a cycle of negativity.

    I remember my counsellor and I talking about feeling the feeling but not acting on it immediately and then regretting it. That is a pattern I repeat. It’s good to recognize this , it means we are making strides in progress noticing these harmful patterns of behaviour and wanting something more positive.

    Like

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