Gone to ground

At times like these

It is better not to speak

Of the dark place I find myself in

 

As we move towards the time when

Sun stands still

Having travelled as close to the horizon as possible

Dark of winter

Is a time I struggle most

Is a time when animal body

Most longs to draw within

Pulling closed the shutters

Going to ground

Happy just to feel the silent hum

Of earth’s heartbeat silently pulsing

Through quietened skin

As reminders of painful empty times

Echo this refrain

Dont you know you will never escape

Don`t you know

You will be stuck in this hell forever

 

So when you ask how I am

And I tell you I cannot breathe

That the ghosts are surrounding me again

I should not mistake your silence for lack of care

For maybe what is felt most deeply in the heart

Of another’s pain

When we truly love

Cannot fully find expression in words

 

Oh but how my animal body longs for yours

To rest and find the comfort of skin on skin

In that silent place of connection

Where pain and loneliness are erased

In that healing place that exists

Far far far beyond words.