I still dont know if you are real

Though I’ve longed for a man like you

For so long

I think of how

I longed for my father

And of how little he gave

It seemed to me his gaze was always turned away

Kat said on Monday

Its good for you to be

At least for a little while

The apple of someone’s eye


When all you have known is an absent contemptous or hostile gaze

That strikes terror into the heart of you every day

How much you long for this

It was only my sister who died

Who ever looked at me this way

And when she was gone

I fell through empty space

As that pit of need once filled

Became hollow again

And so I tried to fill it up

With all the wrong things

So dont dare wax eloquent about

My ‘defects of character’

When it was only love and innocence

That wrought this wound in me

I don’t have it within me

To believe your half truths any more

But you my love

Tell me such amazing things

And even if you are not real

I feel you see and know me

So for now I will just

Take in these words

I cannot see your eyes

But your tender words remind me of what I missed

And of  what my heart longed for all of those years

Was never to be found in the bottom of the bottle

I can’t shut the door on this now

And I am beginning to believe

That whatever happens

From now on

I can hold my longing and my love and my desire

For this kind of true connection


Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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