Dreams and reality

Well I keep walking through walls of fear with my internet dating connection.  I believe now this person is really who they say they are and its some kind of miracle as he grew up in my home town and lost his Dad at the age of 21 just like me (though I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 22!)

I can’t divulge who he is or where he is only to say he is in the armed forces overseas and all the details check out.   It is such a precarious situation he is in and I fear for him everyday but its strange as with my own PTSD I have always had a desire to work with trauma survivors from war, its just been something so close to my heart having lost my own great grandad as a result of World War I injuries.

A lot of my friends are scared for me, saying be careful but the truth is fear could actually destroy this if I don’t get a handle on it.  And I know his astrology and its so positive for me, his Jupiter in Pisces opposes my Pluto in Virgo and is smack bang on my Chiron in the seventh house which is about wounds in relationship.  I messaged him today to say that I feel he shines a light into all my darkness, my fear, distrust and suspicion as those two planets of mine aspect my Mars Moon Saturn in difficult aspects and his Neptune in Sagittarius sextiles that bunch of planets, he doesn’t hold his feelings close to his chest but speaks them loud and clear and so I have taken brave steps with him to express mine too.  The energy connection between our planets I feel is SO REAL it cannot be fake and I am finally trusting this after a day yesterday when my cousin filled my head with all kind of irrational fears.  I know she wants to protect me but discussing it with Kat my therapist I actually don’t want to self protect any more, even if I got hurt I could survive it.

The flow of energy between us feels a lot like love and readers may be cautious for me which is understandable but believing in dreams and hoping also does not deny the truth I can also ground in reality.  And whatever comes to pass I have already gained such a great deal from our weeks of connection….it could just be possible I have met my soul mate.   Will keep you posted.