Dreams and reality

Well I keep walking through walls of fear with my internet dating connection.  I believe now this person is really who they say they are and its some kind of miracle as he grew up in my home town and lost his Dad at the age of 21 just like me (though I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 22!)

I can’t divulge who he is or where he is only to say he is in the armed forces overseas and all the details check out.   It is such a precarious situation he is in and I fear for him everyday but its strange as with my own PTSD I have always had a desire to work with trauma survivors from war, its just been something so close to my heart having lost my own great grandad as a result of World War I injuries.

A lot of my friends are scared for me, saying be careful but the truth is fear could actually destroy this if I don’t get a handle on it.  And I know his astrology and its so positive for me, his Jupiter in Pisces opposes my Pluto in Virgo and is smack bang on my Chiron in the seventh house which is about wounds in relationship.  I messaged him today to say that I feel he shines a light into all my darkness, my fear, distrust and suspicion as those two planets of mine aspect my Mars Moon Saturn in difficult aspects and his Neptune in Sagittarius sextiles that bunch of planets, he doesn’t hold his feelings close to his chest but speaks them loud and clear and so I have taken brave steps with him to express mine too.  The energy connection between our planets I feel is SO REAL it cannot be fake and I am finally trusting this after a day yesterday when my cousin filled my head with all kind of irrational fears.  I know she wants to protect me but discussing it with Kat my therapist I actually don’t want to self protect any more, even if I got hurt I could survive it.

The flow of energy between us feels a lot like love and readers may be cautious for me which is understandable but believing in dreams and hoping also does not deny the truth I can also ground in reality.  And whatever comes to pass I have already gained such a great deal from our weeks of connection….it could just be possible I have met my soul mate.   Will keep you posted.


Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Uncategorized10 Comments

10 thoughts on “Dreams and reality”

  1. Like the old saying goes…If they shower you with love, love them back…if they ask for money, run!
    Just follow your heart my friend, this ‘event’ has purpose regardless of the outcome or it wouldn’t have come about. It may be the craziest ride you’ve ever been on, but it will show you…you. And nothing is more loving than that ❤


    1. Luckily he is an affluent guy, Mark and doesnt need my money. I have been scammed before and it was a very different kind of grooming I underwent then. I could be wrong but I do believe he is 100 percent genuine. Call me naive if you like 🙂


      1. Not at all, your learning to trust yourself. Sometimes you’ll land on your backside and others singing in the rain…but always finding your truth within, in each step you take ❤

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s