I’m stepping back

I am stepping back from my sister and her problems.  No matter how she hurt me in the past (and the head trauma I had was a direct result of things she did that made me feel so unsafe at the place I needed to rest) I have gone back and tried to keep loving.   I stuck with her through the suicide attempt.  I just dont want to have to support her now at the hospital.  Part of me feels guilty but I know I have kept in constant contact with her since Mum died and tried to mention helpful things for anxiety and she is not interested in them so I have tried and I also realise now her healing journey is her own.  I can only love her now from a distance, it hurts to write this and I do cry for her.  Hard as it is this seems the right decision for me.  An adult one.

8 thoughts on “I’m stepping back

  1. I’ve had to do this with my own sister and it is very hard and painful but I realized it may be the most loving, caring, and courageous thing to do…allow her to find her way to healing. You are not alone. I’m sorry for your pain in this. I fully understand it.

  2. I have also experienced this type of situation, and had such a hard time finding the balance between “helping” someone and giving them support. It’s a long journey… I wish you and your sister all the best.

  3. You are not abandoning her. You are abandoning codependent behavior. Once you get comfortable with the boundaries, you can go back to loving her in person, in a way that is healthy for you. I know you know this already, but sometimes it’s nice to hear validation from outside😊

      1. I wish I had suggestions, but I don’t know her. Sometimes, the only way you can have a healthy relationship with certain people is from afar. Or maybe it’s only that way for a bit. You’ll know when it feels right. And you’ll know when it doesn’t, which you already did and set boundaries.

        Whenever I’m struggling in knowing how to do something like this, I tell myself that if life came with a manual, we’d have no growth at all.

      2. Yes there is no manual as each life is unique. I suffer a lot of unnecessary guilt. Therapy will help and I am learing to try and differentiate inner voices some of which are wise and others a bit confused, parts of my inner child… I need to tap into my adult self to know what feels right and protect my inner child. If that makes sense. Really just feeling my way with all of this. I yes I will know what feels right Bless you Jami xo

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