Suicidal

Creepy

Sometimes the world seems so dark and lonely

Its hard to find your way

Somedays the  every mistake you ever made

Every lost opportunity

Every shattered dream

Every broken connection

Feels like a weight that is crushing you

Inside your aching soul

Making it impossible to breathe

You feel the greatest yawning emptiness

Or even worse than that : Numb to it all

There are those thoughts that cripple you

Like

I will never be enough

Everyone I’ve ever loved as left me

Or surely life would be better for every one

If I ceased to exist

At times like these where do you turn?

Can you reach out to another

And say

Please help me

My heart is breaking

I fear might not last another day

I fear I will never be enough

The truth is I have been there

And I know how hard it can be

On those days you feel as though you are

Being crushed and will never again stand up

The only hope I can give is

That though it may sometimes not seem so

There are those out there who care

Sadly they can never live your life

Sadly they can never fully know what you carry inside

Until you share it

Yes there are those who will shun you or make you feel worse or misunderstand

But there are others who won’t

And maybe just maybe if you open the door and share your burden

Maybe maybe just maybe if you let yourself be known

And show rather than hide your vulnerablity deep inside

Something will shift and tomorrow you will

Find the energy and hope and courage and will to live another day

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Abandonment Depression, Emotional Expression, Pain, Self Expression, Suicide, Vulnerability27 Comments

27 thoughts on “Suicidal”

  1. Matches my situation right now ..i feel the same but i don’tknow who cares whom to share whom to open up all i know is nobody needs me they are just not effected by a single tear …. Of mine 😭

    1. Don’t worry, accept the truth and awake in the consciousness things will change don’t be stuck with past…. it is not so easy but not impossible.. you do not need to forget anything just need awareness and things will be crystal clear… hoping for your beautiful smiles again.. πŸ™‚

      1. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to accept the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. We sometimes make painful mistakes and others walk away. It hurts a lot and it take time. There is no easy answer I am sorry apart from being tender and forgiving and praying for the strength to go on. I hope this helps in some small way.

  2. You DO feel crushed when you experience that moment that is telling you it’s okay to leave it all behind. It’s the darkest place I’ve ever been to and I pray that I never, ever experience it again. I remember the night, as if it just happened, and I always will.
    Your words take me there, but in a good way. Because I see all that I would have left behind. And I am forever thankful that I chose to stick around.
    Peace

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