Here is more heartfelt advice from the beautiful teacher, Jeff Foster in letting people be who they are and feel what they feel. I feel when we are grieving or hurting so many want us not to be in that place. Maybe our pain reminds them of theirs or of their powerlessness over what we are going through, maybe they hurt for us and dont see the wisdom in what is occuring. There may be many reasons people dont want us to be where we are. There may be all kinds of reasons we get the ‘move on’ message. But true healing happens when we allow what has come to us to affect us and move within us and through us. When we open our hearts to loss or fear or sadness or joy we are allowing a space for what is to show its wisdom, when we open like this to both ourselves and others we actually lessen the hurt through resistance to what is. The following piece of writing is from Jeff Foster’s website : Life Without A Centre.
Let people go through what they have to go through in the present moment! They are tired and they want to rest. They are exhausted from the fight, from the pretence and the lies, from having to hold everything in and hold everything together and hold everything up, and great waves of energy are now being released throughout their body.
Stay present with them. Waves of sorrow, hopelessness, fear, shame and guilt are surging now. Let the energies rise up, let their whole body vibrate and shake and quake if it must, let them wail, scream, roar, laugh, cry, shit themselves if they have to. Offer them nothing but the greatest gift of all: your fearless presence. Stay with them through each breath, each motion, in every moment. Hold their hand, but don’t try to fix them, change them, stop them experiencing what they are experiencing, or give them premature answers.
If you become uncomfortable, or feel like you want to rush in and ‘heal’ them, or ‘save’ them, or ‘fix’ them, or prevent them from feeling what they are feeling, or make everything ‘okay’ for them, own that – it’s your need, your discomfort, your fear, not theirs. Do not treat them like a victim or an invalid. Do not confuse them with who you think they are. Honour the power that moves in them; validate their experience totally. Trust the unpredictable intelligence of healing, and know that their ‘symptoms’ may get worse before they get better; energy may become more intense before it dies down. What appears now as chaos and disintegration may in fact be necessary release and intelligent reorganisation of a blocked system.
Sometimes our hearts need to break wide open so we are able to hold more life, more powerful love. Let your warm presence remind your friend of their own warm presence, so stable, so fearless, so free, so deeply rooted, grounded, here. Know that who they truly are cannot be broken, not by even the most intense energies, and cannot be fixed, and life never makes mistakes even when life seems like a mistake.
Love is all that matters. The rain falls, stars explode in silence somewhere out in the vastness of space, and here on this tiny planet someone called Earth, sometimes we meet and hold each other.
2 thoughts on “Healing Happens When You Get Out of the Way – by Jeff Foster”
Deborah, I have not been on here much lately. I just can NOT believe that this is the first post I’m reading from the hundreds of posts in my reader, and it’s pretty much the same subject I plan on writing about later tonight! It’s uncanny. We are traveling parallel paths, my friend. Boy, have we come a long way, or what???
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Yes. Love is all I feel now Jami. Its all I want to feel. xoxo