It is interesting to read some of my older posts back. I see how certain themes just repeat and repeat. My ancestors were strongly on my mind today when I connected with my Mum in a way I couldnt back in April when I wrote this.
I just came away from a conversation with my Mum with a heart that was breaking apart with longing. After 6 days of no contact Mum finally called yesterday. No matter how much our connection has failed in the past, I still long to hear from my Mum. The week before I was calling every day knowing it was the anniversary of my older sister’s death, wanting to be there for Mum in her grief, in fact it was probably too much straining that I was doing out of my ‘redeemer’ script, which is becoming more and more obvious to me lately but it was also about longing to share the pain of our loss with each other too so as not to have to carry it alone and have the pain and my sister disappear totally into emptiness.
Last Saturday we had a difficult conversation in which Mum wouldn’t…
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