A question and thank you !

Do you often post a post in which you reveal intimate details of deep pain and then suffer a backlash from within telling you it was a mistake and you would have been better off not to post it?  This is what happens with me and then I am very surprised to see ‘likes’ come up on that post.  I just think I am so conditioned to self reject that as soon as expose vulnerability the critic steps in to try and protect me from imagined harm, judgement or rejection.

I am sure I m not alone in this and I was reading in Brene Brown’s book on shame today that shame disappears when we talk about and share about it so that is what I am doing here.   Today was a really tough day for me but I did get through it.   It was one of the toughest days I have had in a while.  My two posts were about that pain, just an attempt to externalise some of it.   This is a tough time of year for me with old triggers of anniversaries so it is important to share.  Thank you to those loyal followers or readers who have shown me support.  I do so strongly appreciate it.  x

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Uncategorized15 Comments

15 thoughts on “A question and thank you !”

  1. Please know that you definitely are not alone. Blogging has been very hard for me, excruciating at the beginning. I have wanted to stop many times. If it weren’t for my husband, I would not be blogging at all. I struggle so much with almost everything that I post, especially my poetry. I fear being hurt again, being misunderstood, and I am very hard on myself for all the pain I carry inside. I do very much understand your struggle. I have several posts I have written that I am struggling with posting, one on a similar subject of fearing my own pain. I love Brene’ Brown, but there were some things in her talks and books that triggered a reaction in me. But I had to realize she is not talking to those who have been traumatized, but to those who are seeking to be their best selves. She does explain this at the end of one of her books. Lots of hugs!!!!

    1. Yes, that is so true. I got triggered by something she wrote the other day.
      I can only say I am so glad you push through and write your poems. I honestly feel they are full of fragility, depth and sensitivity and express so well how trauma affects us. I for one am so grateful you are here. Many hugs in return. ❤

  2. Oh I feel like that often. I usually write posts at night, and with some of them, when I wake up the next morning, I feel this panic wash over me. My critic goes crazy, and I very nearly take down the posts. I kind of have to talk myself out of it, lol.

    I’m sorry you’ve been going through a hard time. I hope things let up soon. ❤

    1. Thanks Rayne. I think I went through something huge last week. I had a lot of anger and sadness come up that I think I had been repressing for some time.
      Its so good to hear when others struggle in similar ways as I guess we all self doubt and fear rejection and then question our take on things when we consider it after the fact.
      I seem to have more positivity and energy this week. I hope it lasts. Lots of love D xo

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