At the centre

At the shopping centre

I sat today with my cup of coffee

As past bled into present

The parallel universe opened

As tears began to fall

My soul realised it is no accident

That I choose this place to come to most days

The place I never got to on the day of my accident

Close to my Dad’s 59th birthday

As I sat I imagined my young adolescent self

Passing by

On the brink of awakening there

Stranded in their world

Gravitational force field pulling

Trapped seed burgeoning

This also the place of my older sister’s trauma

The affair that followed her bleed

That my parent’s found out about

As she lay comatose in the hospital

Images then of her body on the floor

Following the attempt on her life

What a lot of blood to swim through

My soul was drowning in it

Blood and phlegm

So many years

So much anger

So much confusion

So many tears

So much fear

But now this blood red ocean forms a wave

My soul surfs back to the present moment

Where I sit with a soul so strong

Which lived to tell the tale

In every cell

A tale others wanted to keep silent

Or tell me to forget

‘Put it behind me’

But the putting it behind me

Occurs with the remembering

And re-feeling of all terrible consequences

Ripples in whirlpool vortex of pain

 Touching the shore of present time and consciousness

A parallel universe

That still lives in the deep soul

And the realisation of the forces that

In swirling around us all

Formed king tides

That with their powerful flow

Rearranged entirely the landscape of our lives

Today I am the survivor

The witness

Who has lived to tell the tale

Can I now finally walk free

From the past?

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