The gift of our the shadow self


It is so easy to get trapped in our hurt and pain and allow our history to dictate our future and undermine our wellbeing.  When we hold onto our resentments towards ourselves or anyone else, we bind ourselves to the very thing that has caused us pain by a cord stronger than steel….  refusing to forgive those who have hurt us “is like being a drowning person whose held is being held under water by someone else.  At some point you realise that you have to be the one who fights your way back to the surface.”  The only way to battle heartache and the oppressive power of our shadow is with forgiveness and compassion.  Forgiveness doesn’t happen in our heads, but in our hearts. It unfolds when we extract the wisdom and the gifts from our darkest experiences and emotions.  Forgiveness is the hallway between the past and an unimaginable future….

we are living in accordance with a greater plan and …. indeed, everything happens for a reason. …. we are always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not.  Oftentimes this evolution is painful, but the pain serves an important purpose… By feeling the ache in our loneliness, our hearts open to receive more love; by overcoming the people and situations that have oppressed us, we realise the depth of our strength.  When we are willing to acknowledge that our pain, traumas and heartaches have in fact equipped us with wisdom essential for our growth, we naturally forgive and even bless those who came into our life to teach us these difficult lessons.   Our lives are divinely designed for  each one of us to get exactly what we need to deliver our own unique expression to the world.

Our mind may tell us that bad is bad, and good is good, and that we can never really be all that we dream of being but if our shadow could talk it would tell us otherwise.  It would tell us that our brightest light can shine only when we have accepted our darkness.  It would reassure us that there is wisdom in every wound….. Our shadow would tell us that we deserve better, that we matter, that we are more than we ever dreamed possible, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

As we embrace our shadow, we find out that we are living a divine plan, a plan so important, so vital for our evolution as well as the evolution of humankind.  Like a lotus flower that is  born out of mud, we must honour the darkest part of ourselves and the most painful of our life’s experiences, because they are what allow us to birth our most beautiful self.  We need the messy, muddy past, the muck of our human life – the combination of every hurt, wound, loss, and unfulfilled desire blended with every joy, success and blessing to give us the wisdom, the perspective, and the drive to step into the most magnificent expression of ourselves.  This is the gift of our shadow.

Debbie Ford,

Making Peace with Ourselves, Others and the World

extract from :

The Shadow Effect : Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self


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