I was just sitting outside in the beautiful sun looking at my gorgeous tulip tree that has now shed all its leaves and is releasing by turns its multi taloned flower remnants from its earlier bursting forward and I had this thought : the natural world is literally vibrating, it is a storm of particles all teeming with life and magnetising into forms and shapes and awarenesses and layers and levels of consciousness but the rigid mind is fixed. It is hard wired to focus on one limited visible or obvious part and it misses so much of what is contained deeper inside or within life as pure energy and cells vibrating.
Yesterday I wrote a post on the way my own consciousness can change on any day and in any moment in response not only to outward events but also how I think about them but I didn’t post it, it felt incomplete. Today when I saw how awake and alive and vibrating and teeming with energy that life and consciousness is, I felt both awed and humbled by the realisation and thought again of how my consciousness on any given day can change so much and vibrate at different levels in response to energy around me. Seeing the sun on a glorious crisp autumn morning, feeling the healing benediction of its rays on my skin, warm me deep into my bones I am aware of what love and possibility feels like and of what a miracle the natural world really is and of how far finite, rigid, limited human consciousness can stray from this place.
In the bone shattering darkness of depression and the dark night of the soul I was trying to write about yesterday all sunshine fades and we find ourselves down on our knees or flat on our backs surrounding on all sides by the heaviest of glooms, we see only that which has been stolen or is broken, frozen and dead. We may spend years in this stage and state of awareness and it leads so many to suicide. However do believe that if we find the strength and tenacity to weather and navigate inner depths of the soul and dark states and stages of consciousness, if we continue to wait even without hope and trust and faith some days, one day we will rise and awaken to witness a morning where we find we have broken free of gloom, we will feel our hearts vibrating and know our consciousness transformed. We will see things we didn’t see before and we will bear witness to the sheer power and vibration of life, feeling it enter us so deeply. With a newly awoken attitude we will be so grateful we survived those deeply suicidal days on which life seemed so fixed and barren and rigid and nothing made any sense.