Cast onto the waves

Where do I belong?

Is there truly a state or place of belonging

Or is it just an idea

I use to punish myself

When I feel my heart beating in my chest

Do I then belong in this body

Or did I need

So long ago

To take my distance from it?

Life can be hard

Then it feels like knives

That cut you to ribbons

When there is nothing left to soften the blow

You look for comfort

Something to take the hard edge off

A way of escape

And so I chose distance

From a world in which

I did not feel

My heart could belong

But now my heart is hurting

It hurts

To live so far away

To be so disengaged

And so you go out

Into the world

Opening to connection

Knowing the truth is

That connections come and go

And a lot of the pain and loneliness you feel

Comes from the past

And in asking connection to stay

You become distant and resistant

To reality

For what leaves must leave

Was never meant to stay

And can anyone really ask another

To bind up the wounds of our soul

To rescue us from depths of aloneness

Fate and true being may be asking us to face

Not accepting reality

Keeps you angry, bitter, trapped and disengaged

From the ongoing stream of life

That asks you to enter

And to swim

Surrendering what needs

To be surrendered

Cast onto the waves

Of the outgoing tide