You loved me


You loved me

I see the truth now

I feel it raining its silent grief down on my soul

I could not see clearly before

What I saw was an attack

Someone who didn’t understand

And perhaps you didn’t

But you still loved

And like all lovers

Longed for love to be returned

You just couldn’t express it

In the way

That was needed then

And not understanding either

I pushed away so many times

Even though my heart and soul

Longed to draw close

So many times

Old fears made me a loner

Someone who said

I don’t need too much

I don’t feel too much

But I do

And the truth is this

I learned how to let my wanting go

So as not to feel pain

But then too, I put blocks on my heart

And never tried too hard to show

What I really felt and needed inside

Until one day it awakened like a storm

And blew everything apart

An inner voice telling me to go it alone

An inner voice telling me not to need

An inner voice telling me I had to be strong

When all I needed was to collapse and depend

And there is deep grief now

For what past unresolved pain prevented

But now you and I are drawing as close as we can

Being together but not demanding too much

Happy in each other’s company

Happy to give and receive the simplest of love

In just being

With all the longed for love

Rising up from those deep places

Where it hid

Deep crevices of soul love fell into

And hid

So for whatever time is left

Let us love

And in loving

Surrender the barriers

To love’s presence

4 thoughts on “You loved me

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