Sadness in my soul

Girl in Boat

Sadness in my soul you will always be there buried down underneath somewhere in a darker place but you are not the whole of me just a reminder of pain and loss I went through and a lack of things desired like time, attention, togetherness.  At times you will come to light and I will feel a tenderness within me and a soreness open up inside because of the painful things I have experienced and witnessed and because of the lonely times I have known when I had no love, support or comfort within me and had to turn to substances and things instead of people.  That is the past I cannot change it.

Sadness in my soul at times you are a sister to the anger that I have felt for having got a raw deal but also a cousin to a wisdom that knows that if I didn’t I never would have developed some of the positive traits I possess, caring, compassion, empathy, feeling for those who are exiled or suffer without finding love and a home

Sadness in my soul you are not the entirety of me and when I meet you with love a brighter light begins to shine in the darkness, the light of my own presence and the presence of the soul of world.  At these times you fill me with awe for the profundity of what humans go through.  At times these feelings inside make it harder to belong to the ordinary world and I may feel set apart, but let me never forget that deep within I do belong.

Let me remember at those lonely times that when I find the courage to walk alone and be true to you I am freer to be the deepest soul I can be.  But help me to keep opening my heart and reaching out anyway from a place of love.  Help me to remember that separation from the deeper spiritual life is impossible as long as I acknowledge the soul and that others also suffer.  By reaching out to others that are suffering I share love.  By reaching to those who are happy too I find life when I share in their happiness even though at times life can feel sad.  Let me remember that as long as there is love a part of me is connected to the greater life and on a spiritual level I am never really alone.

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